The VP Debate...

So, I'm going to attempt to make notes during the debate. It's now right at 6:00 Pacific time, and the debate is about to begin. I'm watching on MSNBC because I enjoy their extraordinary graphics.

I will treat this debate much like rodeo - I'll stay on as long as I can before I can't stand it anymore and get bucked off.

Moderator begins - Gwen Ifill moderating... I dig her. And, she wrote the questions and didn't run the information by anyone. Right on!

Oh good lord, Palin's asking if she can call Senator Biden, "Joe".... what else would you call him.

Wow - right into the bailout... damn. Joe did a brief "thanks for hosting" dance, but kept it brief before going into an answer - nicely done. I hate to use a sports metaphor, but he's swinging for the fence. I can't wait to see what sort of cute little quip Sarah Palin brings. By the way, has Biden had Botox?

Sarah's doing the whole "answer the question with a question"... and she used the word "betcha" which isn't actually a word, but I'll let it go since it's the first paragraph she's spoken. WHY IS SHE STARING AT THE CAMERA??? Too many years as a newscaster has f*cked up her sense of propriety. Answer the person who asked! Look at the moderator!

I love Joe Biden - he's totally throwing McCain under the bus with the whole "fundamentals are strong" schtick. And of course Palin responds by complimenting that workforce saying that's what McCain meant... we all know it wasn't.

Seriously, I think Sarah Palin is attempting to hypnotise the audience by staring at the camera.

Damn! Gwen nailed both of them for evading the question! Nicely done!

On to the mortgage crisis! Of course, Palin blames the "predatory" lenders... blah, blah, blah. Sarah Palin is officially the voice of the obvious. God I hate her. If you're playing VP Debate Bingo, make sure you marked off "hockey mom" and "Joe Six-Pack" on your cards - she just used them, and I doubt it will be the last.

Job creation - tax cut... damn... STOP LOOKING AT THE CAMERA!!! Have you ever watched a presidential debate? Do you think Nixon looked at the camera throughout? No! Everyone would have vomited.

Biden nailed her! Sarah just said that Obama voted for tax increases... that McCain did vote for.

Aww... Palin's not going to answer the questions they way Biden or the moderator want to hear 'em! She's gonna talk to the American People! Again, she's never watched a debate, and doesn't know how it works.

Awesome! Gwen just used the phrase "class warfare" referring to unbalanced taxation - let's see who leaves it like a corpse on a coffee table...

And Joe takes it an runs! He goes into fairness, and McCain's proposal to cut corporate taxes to the tune of $300B. Now, Palin is actualy looking at Biden in response. Biden offers up a deep sigh that fully says "You're a f*cktard, Palin."

Palin is starting to shake a bit... she's trying to remember what McCain told her to say. And, she's offering "details"... straight from the GOP script.

The idiotic Palin smile... which tells us that she's nervous. Pay attention! Tina Fey was right - Sarah Palin's cuteness increases directly in proportion to her ignorance.

Biden's about to take her head off! He's hitting her point for point on the corporate welfare issue, and... now Biden is looking at the camera! What is wrong with you people??? Seriously, he looks like he's had his eyes lifted. Stop it old white men!

Joe Biden just whipped out a metaphor of "a bridge to nowhere".... aw, snap!

I love Gwen Ifill - she just asked, outright, which campaign promises won't be kept - nice!

Good for Joe Biden for not shrinking away from it - he made his couple small concession points, but swiftly turned it back to what they WON'T be cutting. Let's see how Palin manages this one...

And she evades it altogether! Straight into what Obama didn't do... and how she as governor of Alaska she battled the rough oil men. Yeah, I believe it. Is she coming back to what promises the campaign won't keep? Not sounding that way...

Gwen doesn't let her dodge it! And of course, she pulls the "I'm new!" excuse, and says that no promise that McCain has made won't come through.

Rebuttal from Biden - basically "Did not!" And, he's right.

Next question... legislation making it tougher to declare bankruptcy. Palin is first to respond.
She talks about greedy lenders... but nothing about the actual legislation, and McCain's role in leading it.

Biden is talking slower... measuring his words... but actually discusses bankruptcy, and the mortgage crisis. Wait, did Sarah Palin even respond to the issue?

And her rebuttal... she's going into Energy Policy. Um, what? She's on to energy independence... WTF?

Somehow, Sarah managed to try to make herself and the State of Alaska sound like a vertible haven of clean energy. Damn. I can't even comment on the spin coming out of her mouth. She's good at memorizing scripts, apparently!

Biden's getting pissy! Going for the jugular! Nicely done - pulls out McCain's voting record, and what I'm guessing is his record of kicking puppies, and pissing on spotted owls, only after setting them on fire.

Did Sarah Palin just call Joe "Obiden"? How did I miss that bit of awesomeness?

By the way, Palin/Biden is an anagram for Pine Bin Ladin. And Sarah Palin's middle name is "Twat". Just a bit of trivia for you.

My brain just seized up... I can't stand Sarah's goofy smirk.

Here we go - same-sex couples. Joe's for it. Goes into Constitutional equivalency. Saying all the right things.

Palin? And "traditional marriage"... stupid twat. She actual declares herself to be "tolerant" and says that she has "dear friends" that are "diverse". Which is a very Jim Crow way of saying "Some of my best friends are...". But she's being "straight up".

Now! Here's my disconnect with the Obama/Biden ticket... they don't support gay marriage, either. He's talking about leaving it to faith. Fuck faith.

Okay, so I will say that Palin does have a kid in Iraq. She's probably the only Republican politician that DOES, but still...

And, into Iraq. Palin says Obama voted not to fund troops... but she isn't answering the question about what that exit strategy would be. And Biden nails her for not mentioning an actual plan! All she did was spew GOP rhetoric... no surprises there.

And Biden nails her on the fact that McCain also voted against the funding bill. Why bring it up if you know you're gonna get nailed on it? Oh yeah... she's new.

Does she really think that the plan Biden just mentioned is actual surrender? She promptly goes into the folksly, Fargo-esque patter that she always goes into. And now, she goes into nailing Biden personally for the places where he disconnected with Obama.

I need a smoke... they're exhausting me.

Okay - so the formula thus far, is this:
1) Question gets asked.
2) Biden answers.
3) Palin avoids.
4) Biden rebuts and raises the bar.
5) Palin twitches.
6) Repeat.

Iran and Pakistan - Damn! Biden's got some passion here!

Palin is swinging strong, but shuffling her notes! AND SHE SAID NUKE-U-LAR, ala George W. Bush! Damn! What school did these people go to?

Did she just say Ahmadinejad was crazy? Not that it's untrue, but you don't say that. And she's into her visits with diplomats, and that the terrorists hate our freedom. She trotted out her conversation with Kissinger? I'd avoid mentioning that like the plague. I'd bet old Hank was just staring at her rack the whole time. Direct Diplomacy... trotting out that old saw again?

Biden clears the air about the BS that Palin just scooped out. A skillful politician can sidewind, and sidle up and say things indirectly, but convincingly. Palin just mentions things that are just outright wrong, and easily defeated. But, she is new.

Here's another question - HOW does any Republican REALLY think that they are anti-government? It's like in "What's Wrong With Kansas" - it's a self-defeating machine, that hates itself, and seeks to destroy itself. Well done, Republicans, you're almost there.

Back to the debate, I just heard Palin say Nuke-u-lar again, and I think I'm going to have a stroke. And she asks if it's okay to mention Afghanistan -- apparently that's the page she has at the top of her notes.

On to the military surge/counter-surge... I'm impressed with Palin's rebuttal to Biden - it is very forceful and almost confident. Of course, now Biden lets forth another "you're a fucktard" sigh, and stands behind his commentary, regarding military recommendations, and lack of progress in Afghanistan and Iraq.

I'm sorry, did Biden just refer to Bosnians as Bosniaks? Is that where Steve Wozniak is from?

GENOCIDE! Nicely done. Biden just mentioned actually having gone into the genocide zones. I think Sarah Palin went to Canada once. I'm sure she has foreign relations experience with British Columbia.

And, she's into her "I'm a Washington outsider" schtick. Yawn. She managed to spend a full minute off her clock to avoid talking about Darfur. Quick, someone bring her a map and see if she can find Sudan or Chad! That would rock.

Sorry, I got distracted for a moment, but I'm seeing Sarah Palin starting to get tired, and avoiding the topic. Doing her cutesy, but stuttering patter... then firmly going into the pro-McCain, GOP-line. Not anything about her, per se, but all about McCain.

Uh oh - Biden looked like he was reading from his notes on the "What if you end up president?" question. Okay, now he's off book. Joe! You can't scare me like that. Of course, he's on to fighting terrorism.

How does Palin disagree with McCain? ANWR. She doesn't want him fucking up her moose hunt. Go Caribou Barbie! And, back to the average working class family... and how Main Street, Wasilla whatnot... sorry, but Wasilla is hardly indicative of the "middle class." I do think that meth heads are still a distinct and discrete minority.

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!! More Palin's folksly bullshit language. I want someone to sock her in the eye. She actually just offered her brother a "Shout Out" during a VP debate... damn.

They are being remarkably cordial to one another - I'm no fan of bloodsport, but I kinda wanted Biden to go out, snap her little head off and take a big, bloody bite out, and then spike her cranium like a football. But, I guess I can only dream.

Next topic, going into extending the VP's powers/role in government. Of course, Palin doesn't actually SAY anything, but keeps talking. She mentions her "executive" experience {ahem!}, and into Biden. Mercifully, he calls out Cheney for being a dangerous MF'er. I do love that Palin is very supportive of the flexibility of constitution regarding changes in powers, but not much else.

And, to weaknessed! Go Gwen!

Dear Sarah Palin - you governed one of the least populated states in the country, and were mayor of a shitty backwater filled with druggies. Shut your cake hole. Your experience is lacking, and you know it full well. Of course, she's borrowing "party line" from Reagan. She's putting on that newscaster tone and ridiculous smile.

Biden offers a moment of self-deprication - okay, not usually a fan, but he swiftly goes into his and Obama's record. You know, he mentions his personal life for the first time in a while. I do like that about Biden, he doesn't take the victim, "hey, my life was tough, I know what it's like" schtick, but of course Palin does because that's all she's got.

HOW IN HELL IS MCCAIN A MAVERICK? I've heard that word so many times tonight? Get a thesaurus! Or maybe visionary, nonconformist, etc. aren't accurate. And now, Biden will re-iterate AGAIN the myriad ways McCain has towed his party line and not been all Maverick-y. McCain could quote Gilbert & Sullivan, "I always voted as my party's call, and I never bothered thinking for myself at all."

Damn - I just missed the question. Biden's talking about the Justices, and how he was anti-Bork. Don't you mention Roe v. Wade! It makes Palin and the baby Jesus cry, apparently. Maybe he was trying to take Palin's only judicial case reference that she knew.

Ah, compromise, that's what we're talking about.

Bi-Partisanship... changing the tone. Wow, Biden actually uses the most horrific example of politicians as someone he can bridge a gap to. Yes, he managed to make a connection to Jesse Helms (see earlier post). Sarah Palin doesn't know who Jesse Helms is.

Closing Statements!
Palin goes on a little attack on "mainstream media" and filtering... as if she'd be any less idiotic sounding if she wasn't "filtered." I'm pretty sure the opposite would be very true. She's swinging for heartstrings - gag.
And Biden's closing remarks - c'mon Joe! Go for the vein! Less sunny than Palin, not surprisingly. But he digs in a few snaps on big oil, and heads toward the promise of a Free America... going less for heartstrings, sounding more like the speech that my principal gave at my High School graduation.

Not so much the bloodsport I'd hoped for, remarkably civil... and on to the pundits commentary!

I'm exhausted. Next live blog? Election day! November 4! Register to vote, if you still can, dammit!