Les Sterling. Writes.

Podcast #7 - It's the "Les & Michael Recover From The Weekend" Edition...

2011-05-25T17:32:00.000-07:00

Podcast #7 - It's the "Les & Michael Recover From The Weekend" Edition...

Surrendering Vices - Part 1

2011-01-05T16:52:00.001-08:00

As it turns out, when you quit smoking, on the first full day it feels like your head is full of champagne.

Sparkles. Bubbles.

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Seattle Barista's Get What's Coming to Them

2010-09-22T13:55:00.000-07:00

I've been to this Caffe Vita too many times to count, and I absolutely agree. This guy makes me laugh.

Where am I writing these days?

2010-09-20T02:06:00.000-07:00

Oy! Has it been this many months since I've posted on my own site?

I've been writing for a couple other sites since then, and it's been sucking up a lot of time!!

The first is I HEART RACHEL MADDOW - it's a fun, political site that I've been writing with a friend of mine about the body politic, liberal media, and all those exciting things.

The newest site I'm contributing to is SEATTLE GAY SCENE, where I'm writing about art, film and anything else I feel like.

There may be some site crossover, so my apologies if you see something twice ;)

The Promise of Spring...

2010-02-04T01:04:00.000-08:00

It's only a few days into February, and I can smell spring in the air. Perhaps it's the hyacinths sneaking green above the surface of the soil, or the small, but obvious buds on the cherry tree that is triggering a Pavlovian response in my head, but the signs are certainly there. This last January was (if local sources are to be believed) the warmest January on record for Seattle, with the temperature never dipping below 42 or so, and frequently poking above 50.

Long ago, I realized that I was subject to "Seasonal Defective Disorder"... or Affective Disorder, something like that. A "disorder" that I chalked up as one of those fruity, modern era afflictions that people label themselves with to explain being surly or unproductive - like ADD or blindness. Wah, wah, wah, I'd exclaim! "The winter is making me sad!" blah.

When I lived in climates where the winters would feature daytime highs of zero degrees, and where a two-foot layer of snow frequently sealed the city for months on end, I could ALMOST allow myself to be subject to such a "disorder". Couple the unpleasant weather with a mere 7 hours of daylight per day, and it was a near epidemic.

However, in the Pacific Northwest, January is a surprising month. Rain and clouds to be certain, but not the oppressive deep freeze of the middle of the country.

January is also the month when seed and garden catalogs arrive, and I lust with great abandon at the lovely plants that are newly discovered or cultivated by folks like Territorial Seed, or Breck's.

Today, I allowed myself to take a good, deep wander around the garden to assess the damage that "winter" had done. Much to my surprise, in addition to the decay of abandoned corn stalks, and withered tomato vines were a surprising number of weeds (not usually so evident until almost President's Day) and the sprouts of young calendula and garlic.

This surprisingly mild January has been wonderful, but I do not look at it without some skepticism for February and March. February has a habit of being deceptively beautiful in Seattle, and March comes along with buckets of rain and wind. But I shall not be deterred.

I have vowed not to start any seeds until the peas go in on President's Day weekend. Let's see if I can keep that promise.

Dereliction of Blog Duty.

2009-11-21T16:26:00.000-08:00

Truly, if I were in some sort of blogging army, I'd be arrested for abandoning my post. Admittedly, I've lost some steam over the last year without the Bush Administration yanking my chain every 30 seconds, but there's no shortage of stuff to write about.

More, I promise.

In the meantime, here is Surprised Kitty!

RIP Natasha.

2009-03-24T02:19:00.000-07:00

Life in a Two-Paper Town

2009-03-17T23:35:00.000-07:00

My love of journalism, in all its myriad forms, began early in my life. For most of my life, I’ve lived in a city that had two newspapers. As a child, growing up in Kansas City, we had two papers – not competing papers, really, but two. The morning brought around the stately Kansas City Times, with it’s gothic calligraphed masthead – the emblem, I thought, of a serious bearer of news. It was under that majestic logo that all the news of the world came to my house. The smell of newsprint is emblazoned into my memory alongside the scent of hot chocolate and scrambled eggs as the smell of my childhood mornings.

When I would get home from school in the afternoon, the Kansas City Star would be waiting – with its modern-ish, Times New Roman-esque masthead. A more casual paper, bringing around updates to the morning’s paper and all of what would later become known as “human interest” stories.

The Kansas City Times, and the Kansas City Star were owned by the same company – a beast with two heads, one might say. They were never really in direct competition with one another, but as the recession of the 1980’s ramped up, feeding both heads would soon be impossible. By the end of that decade, the Kansas City Times would be folded into the Star, and Kansas City would become a one-paper town. It wasn’t necessarily the loss of the majestic Kansas City Times, and it’s grand masthead that was painful to lose, but that I had to wait a full day before another paper would arrive.

A few years later, I moved to Chicago – the ultimate two-paper town. The Chicago Tribune is the Gray Lady of the Midwest. It, like the Kansas City Times, is the more grand of the two – gothic masthead, gothic towered building and all. Across Michigan Avenue are the offices of the Sun-Times – the tabloid shaped paper with it’s much more modern image, housed (at the time) in a squat, brown building – covered in corrugated metal sheeting, with bright yellow plastic lettering that looks, for all the world, like a 1950’s architectural abomination. Yes, the tabloid shaped Sun-Times was easier to read on the subway, but the Tribune bespoke a higher purpose. Reading the Tribune felt to me like reading the truth – perhaps it was tinged with a slightly more conservative voice, but I can filter out heavy-handed editorializing. The Sun-Times, to me, was more of a working class paper – the paper of the proletariat, and I worked on Michigan Avenue and wore ironed shirts. Clearly, I was a Tribune reader. The competition between the Tribune and the Sun-Times was, at least, epic. Sisters Ann Landers and Abigail Van Buren (“Dear Abby”) worked across the street from one another at opposing papers – Siskel and Ebert even worked across the street from one another, but came together to talk about film every week. Chicago exploited dichotomy in so many ways – two baseball teams (White Sox and Cubs), two seasons (hot and cold), two sides (North and South) and two daily newspapers – both perpetually swinging their necks just beyond the reach of the ever-present sword of Damocles.

Now, living in Seattle, I’ve enjoyed life with two papers until today. The Seattle Times, with it’s clearly more conservative bias, and the humorously named, and slightly more liberal Post-Intelligencer. Both Hearst papers, both struggling, and one had to be thrown under the bus. Today, The Post-Intelligencer printed its last edition, and once again, I live in a one-paper town.

Thank you Seattle P-I. You will be missed.

Photo by Joshua Trujillo

Such a blog derelict!

2009-02-26T21:37:00.000-08:00

I've been REALLY derelict in my blogging duties! I've spent a lot of time over the last couple months working on www.GrowingAppetite.com and haven't gotten a chance to come over here and write. My last was a Christmas post! And here it is almost Spring!

Check out the garden project blog over at www.GrowingAppetite.com and see what's bloomin'!

Easily Amused...

2008-12-22T22:26:00.000-08:00

It's true.
As much as I am general opposed to anthropomorphism, this entertains me.

You can view this happy christmas video here.

Happy Christmas!

Am I alone here?

2008-12-18T23:46:00.001-08:00

Or is Rahm Emanuel one sexy bastard?

It's about time we had some attractive leadership. 'Cause right now, this is the current White House Chief of Staff.

Not hot.

So, just a refresher:

Rahm Emanual is a sexy man.

Josh Bolten is not.

I swear I'm working on writing more, but with the election, Prop 8, mormons, stem cell research, the current administration's "victory lap" and everything else, there's just too much brewing.

But by this weekend, I'll have something new, I promise.

I Heart Keith Olbermann.

2008-11-11T00:59:00.000-08:00

It's on, Mormons!

2008-11-06T16:10:00.000-08:00

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (or "Mormons") has made it clear, again, that they have every intent of participating fully in government activities. If they wish to do so, then they are obliged to surrender their tax-exempt status. This is the simplest example of "Pay to Play." At a purely ethical level, how can an organization believe that they have every right to steer acts of government while never paying taxes? How does that work?

This must end. Today, it's the gay people. Who next? Catholics? Mexicans?

I encourage you to click on the link above, and send the Form 13909 to the IRS. The site will direct you to a truckload of information about reporting Not-For-Profit entities who opt to abuse their tax-exempt status. Churches (not just the Mormons) need to start paying their share. Imagine how quickly that deficit would lighten as soon as churches start paying up. As soon as their tax bills are settled, then they can advance all of the monstrous, morally bankrupt crap they want to, to give the rest of us with a reasonable measure of intelligence something to laugh at.

No more Mr. Nice Fag. It's on.

Today...

2008-11-05T00:14:00.001-08:00

I feel a sense of patriotism again. For the first time in a really long time.
And I couldn't be prouder of my country. Well done.

As I listened to the radio, on the way to an election night party, I heard Pennsylvania called for Obama. I wasn't shocked, but certainly pleased. And an hour or so later when Ohio was called... I knew it was assured.

The revolution has begun.

If Obama isn't elected...

2008-10-29T21:39:00.000-07:00

then the United States has failed.

Best part?
Not a single mention of McCain or the Naughty Librarian.

Less than 100 Days...

2008-10-12T21:20:00.000-07:00

Alas, we're into double digits.

It's been a rough, rough eight years... and it's almost over.

Tina Fey and Queen Latifah...

2008-10-06T20:22:00.001-07:00

Comedy gold... truth really is stranger...

At an anti-Palin rally...

2008-10-05T18:16:00.001-07:00

Um, yeah... 'nuf said.

Sad Songs...

2008-10-05T03:09:00.001-07:00

I just read an interesting blog post by a guy who talked about the Saddest Songs he knows, and it inspired me to compile such a list myself. Music is one of those incredible forms of art that hits everyone's lives - regardless of a particular genre, I have never met anyone who "doesn't like music". You can hate Impressionist painting or Modern Art, but can you really hate music?

Anything capable of evoking an emotional response from a purely subconscious level is pretty extraordinary. For many people, there are works of art that do that - I'm certainly one of those people. VanGogh's "Starry Night" (Sterrennacht) still gives me chills. Many of Imogen Cunningham's photos are just gut wrenching. But it's still music that can render me a broken heap, sobbing on the floor.

So, I'm pleased to present my lineup of sadness-making music:

10) Mozart's Requiem - "Lacrimosa"
There is something so incredibly powerful about his Requiem, the explosive timpani and tenor that just strikes me in the chest. It moves me to tears and energizes me at the same time somehow.

9) Nessun Dorma, from Turandot - Admittedly, the only version that can evoke a misty eye, for me, is Andrea Bocelli singing it. But, well...damn.

8) Back to Black - Amy Winehouse
You know, there are a number of interpretations for the lyrics, but the gist being about the end of a love, and the predictable fall back into misery without them.

7) Hey, Jupiter - Tori Amos
I was a fan of Tori Amos for quite a long time. In recent years I lost track of her music, but this one about heartbreak and the continued invitation for more stays with me.

6) Last Goodbye - Jeff Buckley
In reality, this entire list could have been summed up with "anything by Jeff Buckley" and been pretty accurate. I think it's his voice, combined with his tragic story that makes it all the more impactful. This is one of those songs that could certainly be empowering, but for me it will always play in the background every time something has to end for me.

Can't embed the video, but check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hm8JoMhgjRw

5) One - U2
There will always be a place in my heart for U2. Any band that can keep it together this long has to be doing something right. And this song in particular always punches me in the gut... a plea for forgiveness, along with an offering of the same.

4) He Stopped Loving Her Today - George Jones
If you ever feel the need to have your heart stomped on, this little tune about a love taken to the grave will do the job nicely.

3) Ne Me Quitte Pas - Nina Simone
Nina Simone's smoky voice lends a creaking desperation to this Jacque Brel classic. This plead for a lover to stay can tear through the most durable of hearts.

2) Lover, You Should Have Come Over - Jeff Buckley
The embedded video is kinda pointless, but it features the album cut of the song. It's a song that changed in meaning after Jeff Buckley died - almost as though he's singing from beyond the grave. By the time I get to "My body turns and yearns for a sleep that won't ever come"... i'm done.

1) Hurt - Johnny Cash
When I heard that Johnny Cash covered this Nine Inch Nails track, I was a little appalled, to be perfectly honest. I was afraid that he was trying a little schtick, but when I heard his interpretation, you could have knocked me over with a feather. And when I saw the Mark Romanek video, I sobbed. Especially knowing how soon after that he died. The styling maintains a few traces of the Trent Reznor aesthetic, but Johnny Cash makes it his own. Keep a red, bloodshot eye out for June when she appears in the video. It's then that you realize that he's singing his own eulogy.

Now that you're sufficiently bummed out - here's a little mental sorbet to help clean your mental palate and bring the cheery mood back.

The VP Debate...

2008-10-02T18:00:00.000-07:00

So, I'm going to attempt to make notes during the debate. It's now right at 6:00 Pacific time, and the debate is about to begin. I'm watching on MSNBC because I enjoy their extraordinary graphics.

I will treat this debate much like rodeo - I'll stay on as long as I can before I can't stand it anymore and get bucked off.

Moderator begins - Gwen Ifill moderating... I dig her. And, she wrote the questions and didn't run the information by anyone. Right on!

Oh good lord, Palin's asking if she can call Senator Biden, "Joe".... what else would you call him.

Wow - right into the bailout... damn. Joe did a brief "thanks for hosting" dance, but kept it brief before going into an answer - nicely done. I hate to use a sports metaphor, but he's swinging for the fence. I can't wait to see what sort of cute little quip Sarah Palin brings. By the way, has Biden had Botox?

Sarah's doing the whole "answer the question with a question"... and she used the word "betcha" which isn't actually a word, but I'll let it go since it's the first paragraph she's spoken. WHY IS SHE STARING AT THE CAMERA??? Too many years as a newscaster has f*cked up her sense of propriety. Answer the person who asked! Look at the moderator!

I love Joe Biden - he's totally throwing McCain under the bus with the whole "fundamentals are strong" schtick. And of course Palin responds by complimenting that workforce saying that's what McCain meant... we all know it wasn't.

Seriously, I think Sarah Palin is attempting to hypnotise the audience by staring at the camera.

Damn! Gwen nailed both of them for evading the question! Nicely done!

On to the mortgage crisis! Of course, Palin blames the "predatory" lenders... blah, blah, blah. Sarah Palin is officially the voice of the obvious. God I hate her. If you're playing VP Debate Bingo, make sure you marked off "hockey mom" and "Joe Six-Pack" on your cards - she just used them, and I doubt it will be the last.

Job creation - tax cut... damn... STOP LOOKING AT THE CAMERA!!! Have you ever watched a presidential debate? Do you think Nixon looked at the camera throughout? No! Everyone would have vomited.

Biden nailed her! Sarah just said that Obama voted for tax increases... that McCain did vote for.

Aww... Palin's not going to answer the questions they way Biden or the moderator want to hear 'em! She's gonna talk to the American People! Again, she's never watched a debate, and doesn't know how it works.

Awesome! Gwen just used the phrase "class warfare" referring to unbalanced taxation - let's see who leaves it like a corpse on a coffee table...

And Joe takes it an runs! He goes into fairness, and McCain's proposal to cut corporate taxes to the tune of $300B. Now, Palin is actualy looking at Biden in response. Biden offers up a deep sigh that fully says "You're a f*cktard, Palin."

Palin is starting to shake a bit... she's trying to remember what McCain told her to say. And, she's offering "details"... straight from the GOP script.

The idiotic Palin smile... which tells us that she's nervous. Pay attention! Tina Fey was right - Sarah Palin's cuteness increases directly in proportion to her ignorance.

Biden's about to take her head off! He's hitting her point for point on the corporate welfare issue, and... now Biden is looking at the camera! What is wrong with you people??? Seriously, he looks like he's had his eyes lifted. Stop it old white men!

Joe Biden just whipped out a metaphor of "a bridge to nowhere".... aw, snap!

I love Gwen Ifill - she just asked, outright, which campaign promises won't be kept - nice!

Good for Joe Biden for not shrinking away from it - he made his couple small concession points, but swiftly turned it back to what they WON'T be cutting. Let's see how Palin manages this one...

And she evades it altogether! Straight into what Obama didn't do... and how she as governor of Alaska she battled the rough oil men. Yeah, I believe it. Is she coming back to what promises the campaign won't keep? Not sounding that way...

Gwen doesn't let her dodge it! And of course, she pulls the "I'm new!" excuse, and says that no promise that McCain has made won't come through.

Rebuttal from Biden - basically "Did not!" And, he's right.

Next question... legislation making it tougher to declare bankruptcy. Palin is first to respond.
She talks about greedy lenders... but nothing about the actual legislation, and McCain's role in leading it.

Biden is talking slower... measuring his words... but actually discusses bankruptcy, and the mortgage crisis. Wait, did Sarah Palin even respond to the issue?

And her rebuttal... she's going into Energy Policy. Um, what? She's on to energy independence... WTF?

Somehow, Sarah managed to try to make herself and the State of Alaska sound like a vertible haven of clean energy. Damn. I can't even comment on the spin coming out of her mouth. She's good at memorizing scripts, apparently!

Biden's getting pissy! Going for the jugular! Nicely done - pulls out McCain's voting record, and what I'm guessing is his record of kicking puppies, and pissing on spotted owls, only after setting them on fire.

Did Sarah Palin just call Joe "Obiden"? How did I miss that bit of awesomeness?

By the way, Palin/Biden is an anagram for Pine Bin Ladin. And Sarah Palin's middle name is "Twat". Just a bit of trivia for you.

My brain just seized up... I can't stand Sarah's goofy smirk.

Here we go - same-sex couples. Joe's for it. Goes into Constitutional equivalency. Saying all the right things.

Palin? And "traditional marriage"... stupid twat. She actual declares herself to be "tolerant" and says that she has "dear friends" that are "diverse". Which is a very Jim Crow way of saying "Some of my best friends are...". But she's being "straight up".

Now! Here's my disconnect with the Obama/Biden ticket... they don't support gay marriage, either. He's talking about leaving it to faith. Fuck faith.

Okay, so I will say that Palin does have a kid in Iraq. She's probably the only Republican politician that DOES, but still...

And, into Iraq. Palin says Obama voted not to fund troops... but she isn't answering the question about what that exit strategy would be. And Biden nails her for not mentioning an actual plan! All she did was spew GOP rhetoric... no surprises there.

And Biden nails her on the fact that McCain also voted against the funding bill. Why bring it up if you know you're gonna get nailed on it? Oh yeah... she's new.

Does she really think that the plan Biden just mentioned is actual surrender? She promptly goes into the folksly, Fargo-esque patter that she always goes into. And now, she goes into nailing Biden personally for the places where he disconnected with Obama.

I need a smoke... they're exhausting me.

Okay - so the formula thus far, is this:
1) Question gets asked.
2) Biden answers.
3) Palin avoids.
4) Biden rebuts and raises the bar.
5) Palin twitches.
6) Repeat.

Iran and Pakistan - Damn! Biden's got some passion here!

Palin is swinging strong, but shuffling her notes! AND SHE SAID NUKE-U-LAR, ala George W. Bush! Damn! What school did these people go to?

Did she just say Ahmadinejad was crazy? Not that it's untrue, but you don't say that. And she's into her visits with diplomats, and that the terrorists hate our freedom. She trotted out her conversation with Kissinger? I'd avoid mentioning that like the plague. I'd bet old Hank was just staring at her rack the whole time. Direct Diplomacy... trotting out that old saw again?

Biden clears the air about the BS that Palin just scooped out. A skillful politician can sidewind, and sidle up and say things indirectly, but convincingly. Palin just mentions things that are just outright wrong, and easily defeated. But, she is new.

Here's another question - HOW does any Republican REALLY think that they are anti-government? It's like in "What's Wrong With Kansas" - it's a self-defeating machine, that hates itself, and seeks to destroy itself. Well done, Republicans, you're almost there.

Back to the debate, I just heard Palin say Nuke-u-lar again, and I think I'm going to have a stroke. And she asks if it's okay to mention Afghanistan -- apparently that's the page she has at the top of her notes.

On to the military surge/counter-surge... I'm impressed with Palin's rebuttal to Biden - it is very forceful and almost confident. Of course, now Biden lets forth another "you're a fucktard" sigh, and stands behind his commentary, regarding military recommendations, and lack of progress in Afghanistan and Iraq.

I'm sorry, did Biden just refer to Bosnians as Bosniaks? Is that where Steve Wozniak is from?

GENOCIDE! Nicely done. Biden just mentioned actually having gone into the genocide zones. I think Sarah Palin went to Canada once. I'm sure she has foreign relations experience with British Columbia.

And, she's into her "I'm a Washington outsider" schtick. Yawn. She managed to spend a full minute off her clock to avoid talking about Darfur. Quick, someone bring her a map and see if she can find Sudan or Chad! That would rock.

Sorry, I got distracted for a moment, but I'm seeing Sarah Palin starting to get tired, and avoiding the topic. Doing her cutesy, but stuttering patter... then firmly going into the pro-McCain, GOP-line. Not anything about her, per se, but all about McCain.

Uh oh - Biden looked like he was reading from his notes on the "What if you end up president?" question. Okay, now he's off book. Joe! You can't scare me like that. Of course, he's on to fighting terrorism.

How does Palin disagree with McCain? ANWR. She doesn't want him fucking up her moose hunt. Go Caribou Barbie! And, back to the average working class family... and how Main Street, Wasilla whatnot... sorry, but Wasilla is hardly indicative of the "middle class." I do think that meth heads are still a distinct and discrete minority.

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!! More Palin's folksly bullshit language. I want someone to sock her in the eye. She actually just offered her brother a "Shout Out" during a VP debate... damn.

They are being remarkably cordial to one another - I'm no fan of bloodsport, but I kinda wanted Biden to go out, snap her little head off and take a big, bloody bite out, and then spike her cranium like a football. But, I guess I can only dream.

Next topic, going into extending the VP's powers/role in government. Of course, Palin doesn't actually SAY anything, but keeps talking. She mentions her "executive" experience {ahem!}, and into Biden. Mercifully, he calls out Cheney for being a dangerous MF'er. I do love that Palin is very supportive of the flexibility of constitution regarding changes in powers, but not much else.

And, to weaknessed! Go Gwen!

Dear Sarah Palin - you governed one of the least populated states in the country, and were mayor of a shitty backwater filled with druggies. Shut your cake hole. Your experience is lacking, and you know it full well. Of course, she's borrowing "party line" from Reagan. She's putting on that newscaster tone and ridiculous smile.

Biden offers a moment of self-deprication - okay, not usually a fan, but he swiftly goes into his and Obama's record. You know, he mentions his personal life for the first time in a while. I do like that about Biden, he doesn't take the victim, "hey, my life was tough, I know what it's like" schtick, but of course Palin does because that's all she's got.

HOW IN HELL IS MCCAIN A MAVERICK? I've heard that word so many times tonight? Get a thesaurus! Or maybe visionary, nonconformist, etc. aren't accurate. And now, Biden will re-iterate AGAIN the myriad ways McCain has towed his party line and not been all Maverick-y. McCain could quote Gilbert & Sullivan, "I always voted as my party's call, and I never bothered thinking for myself at all."

Damn - I just missed the question. Biden's talking about the Justices, and how he was anti-Bork. Don't you mention Roe v. Wade! It makes Palin and the baby Jesus cry, apparently. Maybe he was trying to take Palin's only judicial case reference that she knew.

Ah, compromise, that's what we're talking about.

Bi-Partisanship... changing the tone. Wow, Biden actually uses the most horrific example of politicians as someone he can bridge a gap to. Yes, he managed to make a connection to Jesse Helms (see earlier post). Sarah Palin doesn't know who Jesse Helms is.

Closing Statements!
Palin goes on a little attack on "mainstream media" and filtering... as if she'd be any less idiotic sounding if she wasn't "filtered." I'm pretty sure the opposite would be very true. She's swinging for heartstrings - gag.
And Biden's closing remarks - c'mon Joe! Go for the vein! Less sunny than Palin, not surprisingly. But he digs in a few snaps on big oil, and heads toward the promise of a Free America... going less for heartstrings, sounding more like the speech that my principal gave at my High School graduation.

Not so much the bloodsport I'd hoped for, remarkably civil... and on to the pundits commentary!

I'm exhausted. Next live blog? Election day! November 4! Register to vote, if you still can, dammit!

Tina Fey is my god now...

2008-09-21T20:59:00.001-07:00

Regarding Sarah Palin's VP nom...

2008-09-07T20:42:00.000-07:00

The phrase "useless twat" comes to mind.

Her speech was so stilted, and painful to watch. It was clear that the Republican party chose her words for her.

Someone who supports abstinence education has a teenage slut/daughter knocked up and getting ready to pump out a kid... who will be 7 months younger than his uncle. That's some serious trailer park bullshit right there. These are the people that the right wing wants to lead? Seriously?

Of course John McCain had to find some woman so whacked out on her own absurdly right-wing rhetoric, so the Fundy Right would be okay with his ticket.

Never mind that all of her arguments lack logic, reason or anything resembling honesty.

If we get Republicans in the White House again, it's not going to be pretty.

And if you don't vote, I will personally come over and pimp slap you.

Celebs and their deaths…

2008-08-12T20:51:00.000-07:00

Perhaps it’s a bit obsessive compulsive of me, but for the last decade or so, I’ve been convinced that celebrities die when I travel. I know the “rule of three” thing…which doesn’t always play out, but now when I get off a plane, I check the news. I really only began to notice it in 1997. If you recall, that summer, the death trilogy began on 15 July with Gianni Versace. Then, at then on 31 August was Princess Diana. On 5th September, Mother Teresa. I was camping in mid-July, and at the end of August I was in Los Angeles.

I was in LA on September 11, 2001.

Princess Margaret? I was in LA.
The Queen Mother? I was in New York.

In June of 2002 and 2003, I made trips to New York to see friends, and to go to the Gay Pride festivities, which happily tend to coincide with my birthday. In 2002, on June 29, Rosemary Clooney died. I was in New York. Exactly a year later, Katherine Hepburn died. Three days before, Strom Thurmond. Again, I was in New York. On July 4th of 2003, Barry White died. I was in London.

Is this the universe’s way of telling me to stay my ass at home?

Now, Bernie Mac and Issac Hayes die. This time, I’m at home though. Although, I’m getting ready to go out of town in a few weeks. Is it going to be Paul Newman? Prince Philip? Or (heaven forbid!) Morgan Freeman? Or as many speculators and particularly superstitious folks predict, Samuel L. Jackson? I hope to god not.

I don’t want anyone to die. Not while I travel.

Notice to celebrities – stay home in September. Except Paris Hilton - she can do whatever she wants.

I thought Jesse Helms would never die!

2008-08-11T23:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know I'm late with this one. I've been contemplating what to say on the matter. I do recall when I began with this whole idea of blogging that it would be tempered with thoughts on art and certainly politics, and I remember thinking, "Wow! I can't wait until Jesse Helms dies!". Of course, somewhere inside I thought he might recant all his violent, angry, hate-filled speech and demeanor, but alas, no.

If you don't know who he is, go to Wikipedia an look him up. He was, in a nutshell, the last of a dying breed of fucked up Southern politicians who was openly anti-gay, anti-civil rights, anti-anything that wasn't white, male and Christian. The world is a far better place without him in it.

I thought it might be easiest just to offer up a selection of his own quotes to put this pathetic trashbag of a human being into perspective:

To congress: "I've never heard once in this chamber anybody say to the homosexuals, 'stop what you're doing.' If they would stop what they're doing there would not be one additional case of AIDS in the United States." -Jesse Helms

"I've been portrayed as a caveman by some. That's not true. I'm a conservative progressive, and that means I think all men are equal, be they slants, beaners or niggers." -Jesse Helms, North Carolina Progressive, February 6, 1985

"All Latins are volatile people. Hence, I was not surprised at the volatile reaction." stated by Helms after Mexicans protested his visit to Mexico in 1986 to investigate allegations of political corruption." -Helms was investigating as to whether or not there might be communists in Mexico

"She's a damn lesbian. I am not going to put a lesbian in a position like that. If you want to call me a bigot, fine." - Explaining why he was opposing the appointment of a woman for a cabinet post.

"They should ask their parents if it would be all right for their son or daughter to marry a Negro." - In response to Duke University students holding a vigil after Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated, 1968

On the Metric System - "If God had wanted us to use the metric system, Jesus would have had 10 apostles."

So, we're down one more. There's certainly more of these idiot fuckwits in DC to be rid of, but I'm certainly glad we're rid of this one.

Who's next? Orrin?

Interviewing Julia Sweeney...

2008-06-15T19:05:00.000-07:00

This is the last of my awesome series of SIFF interviews, and it doesn't get much better than to get to interview Julia Sweeney. It was a last minute interview, in the corner of a pretty hidden hallway, so the lighting is a little wonky - but she's a treat to interview, and one of the coolest people I've met. No, I didn't ask her about Pat.

But next time!

Click on the picture above for the video.

Interview with Bruce LaBruce

2008-06-11T21:48:00.000-07:00

Continued awesomeness as I get to talk to QueerPunk icon Bruce LaBruce at the Seattle International Film Festival. God, this is a cool job!

Click on the image to see the interview!

I interview John Waters -

2008-06-05T21:39:00.000-07:00

As part of my gig producing the podcast for the Seattle International Film Festival, I get to interview some awesome peoples. Here's my interview with SIFF favorite, and badass filmmaker John Waters.

J'adore John Waters.

Click on the picture to check out the interview!

Interviewing Ben Kingsley

2008-05-23T21:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, dreams really come true. This year at SIFF, I'm producing the podcast, and as such, I get to interview filmmakers.

I don't think it can get more awesome than this. Why? Because I got to interview Ben Kingsley.

The interview at the beginning is with me, and the rest of the video is Ben at The Egyptian Theatre for his event at SIFF. A really good time.

Yes, he's even more dashing in person.

Click the picture to see the video

My latest geekdom!

2007-04-12T13:38:00.000-07:00

Hi party people -

In addition to my myriad other projects, I have a relatively new one to share.

GrowingAppetite.com

It's a food and garden website/blog/resource/experiment-in-multi-media that's in it's developmental stage, but I'd love it if y'all would check it out and maybe subscribe perhaps?

If you aren't a foodie or don't enjoy plantlife and the outdoors you may not get much from it, and that's okay, too. I won't take it personally.

Love and Rockets,
Les

Real? Or Parody?

2007-01-24T16:23:00.001-08:00

http://lovegodsway.org/ -- y'all have to investigate this site.

Okay, if this weren't actually a real thing, I'd be inclined to think it was a parody.. or perhaps it is... I'm still not sure.

It's so absurd, that one could argue either side. Take special note of the list of "gay bands" - it's awfully funny. Especially the caveat that Elton John is "really gay". But under safe bands there is mention of Cyndi Lauper.... uh, what? Think about the song "She Bop" for just a second there - her paean to "sisters doin' it for themselves".

The punchline, really, is that they quote Oscar Wilde as a "reformed homosexual" (an amusing portrayal... if by 'reformed' you mean 'said what the court wanted to hear with the threat of life imprisonment').

At any rate, if this is real, then it gives Christianity a bad name, and if it's a parody, then it could be considered marginally funny, but still in pretty poor taste. Equally sad.

Also, If you didn't see the article on the WorldNetDaily (a news source with as much journalistic integrity as The National Enquirer and FoxNews), about how soy makes you gay, here it is: http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53327 -- It's now a 5 part series! I wonder if Elton John is a big fan of tofu?

Happy Tuesday to all :)

It's a beautiful day...

2006-11-09T07:38:00.000-08:00

Hypocritical evangelist gets busted for being a perv and druggie.
Democrats majority control in the House of Representatives.
Democrats majority control in the Senate.
Rumsfeld quit his job.

So happy...

Now, democrats - don't fuck it up.

Much love,
Les

My Fellow Americans...

2006-11-06T00:35:00.000-08:00

It's your friendly neighborhood queer seditionist, again. Today, I'm going to talk to you about how incredibly important the upcoming election is, and how if you don't go out and vote, then the terrorists win.

Here's the deal. For the first time in several years, Democrats have the opportunity to take back control of Congress - by this, I mean that there are enough well supported candidates that are Democrats, that have a good chance of being elected, and thereby creating a majority in Congress (the collective term for the Senate and House of Representatives, for those not in-the-know, our legislative body of the government).

Now, I know that the president is still a Republican, and those of you who know me, understand how anti-bipartisan I am, but since the Dems are still the lesser of two evils, you need to go vote for them. I will also abandon my previous policy of "voting by the issue, not by the party" and tell you to vote for Democrats. Doesn't matter who they are - you need to vote Democrat. I don't care what they do, who all they've slept with, and how many Communist organizations they're accused of being affiliated with, so help me god if you don't vote Democrat I'll play every Yanni album at top volume outside of your house until hell freezes over.

Control of Congress - now, I understand that this is a bizarre concept. Most parliamentary/congressionally legislated governments of the world are occupied by more than two parties - we're the exception, since we've never managed to get any reasonable third party representation. But, there is always a majority party in power. For the last several years, we've had the Republicans in the majority, effectively giving the president carte blanche to do what he wanted - the war, and all that is a nice example.

"But, how can the majority party of Congress affect policy when the president is of a different party?" I'm glad you asked that question. Here's how - at the very least, a little tactic called "death by committee", and in the best, one can hope for an impeachment. Remember, during the latter days of the Clinton administration what a pain Congress was about everything that Clinton wanted to do? Every little welfare reform bill, every little social service, etc. That's because it was Republican controlled. All that unpleasant blowjob nonsense? Republican congressÉ and he lied about getting head. But the point is, that if you go out and vote, you have the opportunity to give Congress the Democratic majority that we so desperately need to get some changes made.

Now, do I REALLY think that congress will impeach W for crimes against humanity, illegally starting a war, and enacting myriad unconstitutional laws - probably not, they're still politicians, and therefore still pussies. I can hope and dream that it will happen, but I'm a realist. The best we should push for, however, is a substantial change in the way the war is managed, and the way that the Bush family's personal interests are being paid because of policies enacted by the current administration.

I know it all sounds like some vast "conspiracy theory" but if you've paid attention at all over the last six years, you have to know some shit is up, and there are only two more years to make sure that history records George W. Bush as the single biggest embarrassment of the presidency since Richard Nixon. Hell, if it's done right, Nixon will end up looking like a petty thief in comparison. Not that Nixon wasn't a world class douchebag in his own right, but I digress.

Here's the short answer. Go vote. If you don't vote, you don't get to complain. There's the bottom line. If the Republicans maintain control, I don't want to hear another word about it - it will be because you didn't do anything about it. You don't get to have any more "protests" or "marches" spouting off your hyper-liberal dogma. Heroes are made in the voting booths, not on soapboxes. I don't want to hear another word about "one little vote doesn't matter" when you and I both know it does. Put down the bong (I'm looking at you Seattle), get out of your mom's basement, and go vote.

Here's the big secret - the Republicans don't want you to vote. They already know that your abstention from voting is tantamount to a vote for their side. All they have to do is prevent your from voting, and they win by default. But if you vote, they're in trouble.

You have the greatest gift in the world in your ability to choose your leadership, America, and you abuse it, ignore it, and turn on the TV. Your ambivalence this time could very well cost not only the basic freedoms of many, many Americans, but your own freedom as well. When the Department of Homeland Security comes knocking on your door, and declares that you're an enemy combatant, although you're a native-born American, you've done nothing but go to work your whole life, and the worst thing you've ever done was break your neighbors window playing baseball when you were ten, you can be assured that it's because you failed to vote to protect yourself.

This is when heroes are made. I can't assure your victory, but I can absolutely assure you that defeat will come if you don't bother to vote. Don't go down without a fight. Don't ignore this and go back to your search for internet porn. Find out how and where you vote, and by god do it.

Your very livelihood depends on it.

Minority Report

2006-08-30T23:19:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I forget that I’m a minority. The random man on the street won’t see me and say “That guy right there is marginalized!” but, I am. I’m a gay man, but I’m also a college educated all-purpose white boy – minority, on a technicality, really. When I’m reminded of my “minority” status, it’s always done in a really odd and usually stupid way. Usually by well intended straight people who have no idea why they’re annoying me.

Since I’m not really part of the corporate American working world anymore, I’m not subjected to the daily reminders of the heterosexual majority. I’m no longer plagued with forced, in-office bridal and baby showers, wherein a collection is taken up for a gift “from the office.” I’ve done my time there – I’ve contributed $5 at a time, by force, to purchase a gift for some ungrateful twit who worked in a different department than I did. I’ve subsidized Diaper Genie funds for dozens people who are now living in parts unknown, and have contributed cash to the bachelor parties of straight guys who are “taking the plunge.” These dollars I will never get back. These are not tax deductible contributions to the charity of my choice. These are quiet extortion payments to a social mechanism I like to call The Heterosexual Agenda.

Make no mistake, my friends, there is a heterosexual agenda – and it’s vast and far-reaching. It starts small, sure, but it’s pervasive. It begins with simple in-office gatherings where a chipper receptionist drops by your office and shakes a manila envelope at you while announcing “Collecting for Colleen’s baby fund!” I should note here, that if you should be confronted with such a receptionist with such an announcement, the correct response, as it turns out, is not “Why? Does she want to buy one?” I learned this the hard way when a slack-jawed young receptionist simply cocked her head to one side and said “No, it’s for a gift. She’s pregnant.”

For the record, I was completely aware of Colleen’s pregnancy – I simply didn’t care. Colleen didn’t even work on my floor, and never particularly cared to be nice to anyone in my group before getting pregnant. Why now should I be obligated to put money toward a gift that I will have no hand in choosing or will ever see? We should have been putting money toward an esthetician to wax her eyebrows. At least that would have benefited everyone.

This, my friends, is an essential part of The Heterosexual Agenda. One of the strongest tools at their disposal is envy. By convincing others of the magic of marriage and reproduction, they hope that everyone will want to be involved in the “fun.” By paying into the gift funds of co-workers now, one can be assured that when our own wedding comes around we can also be assured of a fabulous gift. But somewhere in the back of my head, I always knew that these “pay it forward” actions were without gain for me. These were purely acts of kindness with no expectations of a reciprocal action on my part – after all, I wouldn’t be having a wedding or a baby.

Or would I? At a very fundamental level, this is what “equal rights” are all about. In addition to the basic non-discrimination laws, we should also be demanding equal social recognition. I look forward to the day when I can bring my partner to a corporate business function without getting those glances from over top of uplifted cocktails, and cocked eyebrows. Even worse are those who seek to express how open they are to “the gays” by asking inappropriate and overly familiar questions. A few years ago, after a few drinks at an after work mixer, a clearly intoxicated and overly-handsy VP of Sales asked my date and I “So…what’s it like, y’know, with a guy?”

I understand that, as gay people, we are sometimes still something of an oddity to the population at large. Perhaps, no longer looked upon with derision or pity, but now more with curiosity and (dare I say it) envy. We are now the envied class. We still get married – even without the blessing of the state, we know who we are and will be committed to one another when we choose. We still have kids, but don’t have the pressure to feel like we have to reproduce. Since we aren’t expected to go forth and multiply, maybe there’s something enviable about our lives – all the benefits of a two-income household without the nagging obligation of procreation. If we do have kids, then it’s our choice, and we take on all the extra work involved. The laws will simply have to catch up to us because we’re tired of waiting around for them. There’s something very enviable about someone who has the gift of choice available to them – who wouldn’t want that life?

If I ever work in the corporate world again, perhaps I’ll be more eager to kick in for those Diaper Genies and bachelor parties. Because no matter how much they follow The Heterosexual Agenda, I know deep in my heart, they secretly want my life of child-free bliss and disposable income.

It’s a great time to be alive when the ones living in the margins are the ones with the most enviable lives of all.

Blog Damage...

2006-08-30T23:17:00.000-07:00

So, I've managed to cause damage to my blog, and lose several entries.
Damn.

I shall begin anew. And not look back on errors of web design.

Why We Fight

2006-02-27T03:14:00.000-08:00

The consideration of war - the very concept that a human being would take up arms against another is a daunting one, at best. Tonight I saw the documentary entitled Why We Fight, and I was troubled by what was shown to me.

First, I must confess, I’m a bit of a news junkie. BBC News feeds me with little doses throughout the day like the bits of slag at the bottom of the tiny Ziploc bags, rubbed into my wanting gums to quell the need for new information about the crumbling world in which I live. My love of the documentary film, at feature length, must be taken with greater consideration. I must plan ahead. I need to have the doors secured, and be among likeminded people, and see it with someone less prone to the freakout that is prone to come at the peak of the ingestion.

Documentaries are the big dose – the new shipment of “primo shit”. Two hours (give or take) of clean, uncut, addiction-satisfying information mainlined into my brain through the projected image. This one was no different.

Like junkies of every stripe, I knew what was coming. I wasn’t unaware of the ‘military-industrial complex’ or the corruption of corporate Amerika and the role it was playing in the great farce that is our Great Nation. But in some manner, perhaps, I was expecting to hear more about the very reasoning behind why people, in general, fight. Not just the basic material gains that are made when people go to war. Not just the ever-expanding stock portfolio of the Bush and Cheney families. Not just the grinning, satisfied stockholders and stakeholders in the Haliburton Empire, and their unending crave for more, more, more…

No, I wanted someone to deconstruct war. I wanted someone to get down the very soul of conflict and tell me why we hate people? What makes us abandon a very human instinct to care and nurture and instead maim and destroy?

The saddest thing about this particular documentary was that, actually, it did just that, and told us what we didn’t want to hear. It takes the audience through a labyrinthine history of the US relationship with Iraq, as well as our relationship with oil, and business. It made a very simple point, that I think that most educated Americans, or at least those paying attention thought already – that we went to Iraq for oil.

It can’t be that simple, though. Really? We’re prepared to go to war, and allow innocent bystanders to be killed in violent, absurd and grotesque ways so we can keep driving? Not just so we can keep driving, but so we fuel the machinery of battle, so we can continue to go to war.

We go to war, so we can continue to have war. What the hell?

There hasn’t been a day where I can say with honesty, “Wow. I love America. I’m so proud to be an American” in years. How can I be proud of a “heritage” that perpetuates the very things that the rest of the world hates about us, and are the very things that I, as a HUMAN despise? How can the things that are rumored to be what the rest of the world hates about us actually be true? That as a nation, we’re greedy bastards, who have elected wealthy business people to the helm of our government, and effectively created an Imperial state.

How can we look at our government – the very people that we “elected” to office and not think that some kind of shit is up? Is no one else outraged?

We’re in danger, my fellow Americans. We need to pay attention, and be prepared for revolution of our own. Remember, Hitler came to power after being elected in free and open elections, too.

Sedition is an ugly business. And it’s going to get uglier before it gets better.

Good Riddance, 2005...

2006-01-02T03:14:00.000-08:00

Dear 2005,

To tell you the truth, I’m glad you’re gone. You pulled a lot of nasty tricks on me during your reign, and I’m glad to see you go. You opened with barely a whimper, giving me no sign of things to come. In short order you put me in the hospital, nearly killing me with an anesthesiologist that graduated from the Dr. Kevorkian school of medicine. I still haven’t quite forgiven you for that one. You scared my friends and you scared me. You’re a bastard for that.

Shortly after returning home from my stint in hospital, you took away my job. Barely into the 2^nd quarter of the year, and you decide that I need to be unemployed and recovering from surgery? What sort of thinking is that? And in that delirium brought on by Vicodin, you introduce me to two men who were wholly unsuitable, even on the best of days. Really? Did you enjoy torturing me that much?

Of course, you did introduce me to the film festival. As much as I complained about it, I did meet some interesting people, who keep me amused to this day. Although, it took you until May to come around on this one. Your track record as a year is pretty crap thus far, you have to admit.

Then, for several months you kept me on unemployment, making me virtually invisible to prospective employers. I hope you’re happy. You caused me to live on my Visa that’s just now getting back near zero. I defied you later in the summer when we opened the studio. You seemed dead set on making me hate you so much, 2005, but I refused. You weren’t going to continue to torture me.

I suppose the studio was part of your reign as a year, dear 2005, so I will applaud you for that. You made a nice effort bringing in clients. Then you threw a second job my way as a source of extra income. Granted, it’s not the most interesting job, but it generates income, and I don’t have to bring work home with me… okay, fine, you did well there too. But it wasn’t until the last quarter that you pulled that out. What were you doing all summer?

As you wound down toward Christmas and your impending end, you readied your departure with no pomp or pageantry. You slinked off as unceremoniously as you’d arrived. As years go, you’re certainly no 1998. You could learn a lesson from her. But I guess, not all of you years are meant to be superstars. Let 2006 know that I have great expectations of her. You brought me the studio, but I suggest that you let your successor know that much will be expected of her during her term.

Well, 2005, goodbye. I sent you off on a lovely note, there at the Crocodile listening to Nick Garrison wail on as the lovely Hedwig, as we toasted your demise with cheap, grotty champagne. As a year, you’ll be in the “lessons learned” category for me.

Make sure you let 2006 know what’s coming. I don’t want to have to surprise an innocent new year with my demands.

Au revoir.

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

2005-12-13T15:44:00.000-08:00

I found this on Best of Craigslist - it is not my original writing, although I wish I'd been the one to put these points together in such a rational list.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

All I want for Christmas...

2005-12-11T20:24:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I know you're DYING to know what I want for Christmas, and I don't really need a lot - I'm a simple man. But I have discovered a FANTASTIC bookcase at IKEA that I would love, and would look fantastic in my apartment.

So, instead of asking anyone to get it for me, I'll ask everyone to contribute a couple bucks toward the cause! And what a worthy cause! The storage of literature!

Here it is! Isn't it fantastic!

Here's a link to the IKEA site -
http://www.ikea.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?topcategoryId=15561&catalogId=10103&storeId=12&productId=11499&langId=-1&parentCats=15561*15639

If 20 people contribute $5 each - problem solved!

Paypal contributions can be forwarded to LesSterling@Gmail.com Thank you for listening to my rampant greed.

Oh George...

2005-10-17T01:37:00.000-07:00

Gentle readers, I must apologize profusely for my dereliction of my writing duty. I've been so preoccupied with my own life, that I haven't taken the time to put into words what has been swirling in my head. The political state of affairs has, not surprisingly, taken yet another turn for the worst.

First, the whole John Roberts appointment-to-the-Supreme-Court-thing:
I'm not surprised. Even a little bit. Like many geeks of my ilk, I listened intently on NPR every day to his hearings before the congressional committee. The few times I actually got to see him televised, he reminded me of the "Hypno-Toad" from Futurama - the amphibian/alien who sent out a telepathic signal through his hypnotic gaze that forced the compliance of everyone in a certain range. Even I, the biggest of skeptics, thought "Well, maybe he's not such a bad bloke after all." He's slippery, that John Roberts. Young-ish, reasonably attractive, clearly quite intelligent, but nevertheless, a Republican, and therefore, not to be trusted. Not only was he appointed to the Supreme Court, he was named as Chief. Frankly, if I were Ruth Bader Ginsburg, or Scalia, I'd be pissed. Imagine whiling away all those years as a Justice on the Court of Courts, watching the Old Guard fade away, only to have this young whippersnapper pop in and take the reins. Granted, there is a limited political power to the Chief Justice's position, but I think Ruth Bader Ginsburg would look mighty sharp in a robe with those gold stripes along with that giant white doily under her chin.

Next, Harriett Miers.
What the hell is this about? As if W hasn't FLAGRANTLY and EGOTISTICALLY flaunted his cronyism right, left and center about a zillion times before, now he's handing out appointments to the Supreme Court out like Halloween Candy? WHAT THE HELL? This woman has been his lawyer for a number of years, no doubt, she was the one who made his drug & alcohol problems go away years before, so he rewarded her with a position as White House counsel. Okay, not such a bad thing, I suppose. An old lawyer, gets a good lawyer-ing job. But remember class, she's never been a judge. Not so much as a Justice of the Peace. Even a small backwater county judge is more qualified for the position that this woman. Imagine the public outcry if he had appointed some judge from Hooterville County, Texas - and now, I believe that everyone is so stunned by his lack of clarity, that no one can speak. Well, done Georgie, you've made everyone so blinded by your hubris and stupidity, that no one can form an intelligent argument. The adage is true, "Never battle wits with an unarmed person." I hope she doesn't pass the committee. I pray she doesn't. If she does, it will be the surest of signs that the system - this great experiment of Democracy has failed. I hope he offered her the job as a gesture - a "hey, good job!" pat-on-the-back gesture, knowing that she won't make it. If she's got a soul of any kind, and doesn't want to burn in hell, she'll politely decline the offer. In reality, she's probably Satan. The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world that he didn't exist - and as a follow-up, he's taking the form of a spinster lawyer that needs a makeover.

Oh George, your stupidity stuns The Nation. For the last five years, you've done nothing but create a series of grievous errors in judgment, shown flagrant disregard for the will of the people, endangered the lives of thousands of American soldiers, killing 3,000 in the process, diverted the American attention from one crisis to one that you have a personal stake in, and have padded yourself with a troupe of willing idiots, ready to take the heat for you. No one believes that you were able to put such a malevolent plan together by yourself. You have a crack (smoking) team of cohort hillbillies to do the dirty work for you. We all know you aren't smart - and that isn't a crime. Being dumb is perfectly normal. Surrounding yourself with your dad's friends isn't such a bad idea - they all managed to keep him on task for a many years, including his White House days. But in the final analysis, you will be the one that is remembered as the most useless, ineffective tragedy of a president this country has ever seen. It's sad, really. You've surpassed Herbert Hoover as the most hated president. Well done. All he did was bring the country into a staggering Depression, then walk away. What you did was bring us into an unnecessary war, an economic smackdown that more than doubled the price of gasoline since before your election, and have borne witness to the indictment of more of your cronies than any other president in history. Yet you've slipped through the cracks. You can shrug your shoulders, and say "Well, I didn't know." But the bottom line is simply that it won't matter whether or not you knew, what will matter is that your name was on the letterhead when it all went down. I have my doubts that you'll make it to the end of your administration. I foresee a house of cards collapsing on you. You may not have caused it - well, not ALL of it, but your name was on the paperwork.

After all, isn't your desk where the metaphorical buck stops?

May I direct you to...

2005-10-01T14:58:00.000-07:00

I'm enjoying this little article.

http://www.skepticreport.com/creationism/thingscreationistshate.htm

If you are given to being overcome by the vapors when you read anything that doesn't necessarily jive with your religious beliefs, then you may not want to read it. But, it's interesting, and doesn't demand that you surrender your faith - meaning, that Christians won't have to dash out to church immediately after reading it and have their souls cleansed. And if you belong to a sect that does demand that of you, then there are bigger issues at work here than this article.

Ironically and Intelligently designed,
Les

Dear lady with the knockoff LV bag on Broadway today,

2005-09-04T00:04:00.000-07:00

Today, as you left the QFC, you walked past me, as I was standing on the sidewalk waiting for my friend to meet me. As you passed, you waved your hand, and coughed a cutesy, affected cough and said to me in a lilting, nearly-maternal voice, "You know, others have to breathe this air too." I rolled my eyes and took another lovely, delicious drag from my Marlboro.

Then, as though the gods of irony smiled upon my Friday, you clicked the perky "beep beep" button of your behemoth Navigator/Expedition/Hummer-wannabe/Piece-o-shite, and put your grocery bag on the passenger seat.

I do apologize for bursting out laughing at you to your face. The irony was so forcefully concentrated in that moment, that it overcame me. It wasn’t very nice of me. My bad.

So, thank you for the ironic self-righteousness. It's nice to know that your concern about the clean air that we breathe is so profound, so deeply rooted into the conscious choices that you make as a consumer and an American, that you choose to drive a car that turns out more CO than I can ever hope to produce in a year. Or does it run on sunshine and good intentions?

Thank you too for the monorail. I hope every year the City of Seattle, King County, the State of Washington, and the Intergalactic Council thinks of new, and innovative ways to squeeze more and more money out of people who drive cars like yours to finance public transport. I know you'll never enjoy the perks of public transportation, because you might have to interact with other people, but be assured, that we, who will avoid sitting in traffic for hours on end, will also enjoy zipping past you and getting where we need to be well ahead of you, without all that perky road rage-related stress. Hmm... Stress kills you early too, I hear. Not unlike a cigarette. But you’re still angry, AND you die early. Tragic combination. But, your breath is minty fresh all day long! But wait, I have gum, and mine is too. How DOES that happen?

Sorry, I digress. Please simply accept my gratitude for making my day. No, I have no plans on quitting smoking, in fact I might start snapping off the filters for that extra little buzz, but you've reassured me that for every hypocrisy I encounter while riding this mortal coil, I can be assured it comes with the best of intentions.

Gratefully yours,
Smoking Man

P.S. – The multi-color LV bag is done. You gotta let it go.

Shameless self-promotion...

2005-08-26T22:35:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers, my apologies for taking such a long hiatus in keeping up with my blog. As many of you already know, I've been working for the last couple months to open the doors on my photo studio. Yes, after 500 years of thinking about it, my good friend and now business partner Boe and I have given birth to Side Effects Studio (www.SideEffectsStudio.com) - a full service photographic services studio and digital print service. So, make sure you send all of your photo printing needs to us! Soon, we'll have a space on the website, so you can upload your digital files, and order prints directly! Yeah yeah, I hear you saying "Isn't that what that Crapfish, Whatever-pix dot com thing is for?" Well, you can send your photos there, if you don't love your pictures. If you don't care about quality, then go ahead and spend 15 cents a print for crappy pictures that will fade in short order, OR you can send them to us.

It really does infuriate me that those services offer such inexpensive services, but, in fact, they're just cheap! Crappy, ugly pictures, on thin, easy-warping paper! That's what we want to prevent - your photos, stored properly should outlive you. And that's what we'll provide. Excellent photos for you! The photos we take will always be exceptional. As for the ones you send us, we'll do the very best that technology allows.

Thanks for listening to me preach on.

You Gotta Have Pride - or some such thing...

2005-06-27T02:40:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is that magical time every year that rolls around (nearly abutting my birthday every year!) Gays, Lesbians, TransQueers, Whatevers roll into the nearest metro area for the Gay Pride festivities.

From a purely political perspective, it’s a good thing - full recognition from their City for their existence, their contributions to society and the municipal tax base and, of course, their vote. In larger metropolitan areas, it’s eminently more important. Simply because there are more of us.

In cities like New York, the Pride festival is HUGE much like the city itself. The parade is unbelievably long, filled with energy and a lot of fun. Yes, I said it… the parade is fun. I, who detest parades in general, actually enjoy the New York pride parade. But now, living in Seattle, I’m faced with a very different parade. Now, it’s still an exciting parade. It’s huge, proportionately speaking. But much like Seattle, it’s highly political. And now, there is some flap over moving the Gay Pride parade downtown, and out of Capitol Hill – the gayborhood in Seattle.

This presents two interesting perspectives:

On one hand, the parade and festivities have grown quite large, and blocking off Broadway (Cap Hill’s main thoroughfare) for the parade, and marching it to Volunteer Park (increasingly overpopulated with the Festivities), has become a bit burdensome. Moving the parade to downtown, marching the parade down 2^nd Avenue and ending it at Seattle Center (home of the Space Needle for all of you out-of-towners) does seem to make more sense, purely in the “more people need more room” kind of way. As well, it brings awareness of Gay people outside of the gay ghetto. In this year's parade, there were no less than twelve entries in the parade that wielded large signs demanding “Equal Rights in Marriage” and declaring that “Our Love Is Not A Crime” – while I do agree with all of these declarations, isn’t rather redundant to carry your message to the people who already espouse your dogma? Isn’t that pretty much the most obvious case of “preaching to the choir” possible?

And on the other hand, when the Pride Parade happens, it’s Sunday, at around Noon – and unfortunately Seattle suffers from what I call Kansas City Urbanization Syndrome. It’s a lovely town that’s sprawled itself from Hell to Breakfast…and has little of a downtown to show for it. On any given Sunday afternoon, the only people that are actually downtown are tourists looking for Pike Place Market. So, when a flatbed truck rolls down Second Avenue at lunchtime loaded with seven-foot tall drag queens, and the Dykes on Bikes contingent revs their Chopper at top RPM, what does that actually say to the poor tourist that’s driven in from Boise, Idaho who’s never met a gay person before, but only came to Seattle for a nice summer weekend visiting her sister, (who actually lives in Bellevue, but she tells everyone from high school that it’s Seattle so it will seem like she’s done something more interesting with her life) and wants nothing more than to go to Pike Place Market and see the guy at the fishmonger throw a salmon like on that episode of Frasier… I mean really! What will she think? That the extent of “gay culture” rests solely on the shoulders of drag queens, go-go boys and unshorn lesbians?

I haven’t resolved this issue in my own head, but your commentary will be nice.

But this leads me to my next point – as gay people, are we really to be reduced to those stereotypes so that the mainstream can digest us? What if during a parade of African-Americans they got on the back of a flatbed truck and did a little minstrel show for us in blackface? Would that be acceptable?

If we are ever to experience “equal rights” in the truest sense, then we must put away the images of old and be prepared to move forward. But in a strange way, we’re lazy. We don’t want to evolve to meet the new demand – and listen here my dear homo brethren and sistren, we will not be taken seriously if our only voice comes from the seven foot drag queen. I’m sorry drag queens, we do love you. We are entertained by you, and we appreciate the work that you do in the name of charity and the community at large, but you do realize that there is still so much work to be done in the name of equality. And it can't be done in sequin platform shoes. It won't happen. I'm sorry, but it's true.

“The Civil Rights Movement” was a chapter that we studied in high school history class. Why is it history? When did it end? Did women, and Black people and Asians and Latinos and Jews all suddenly get equal? Ding! All better. We are the world, after all. Apparently it's just the gays that are left behind fighting the good fight.

I realize I must sound terse, but the truth is, well, I am. I’m annoyed that gay marriage is still an “issue” and that AIDS is still an epidemic, and that we haven’t advanced more than we have. I’m angry that gay men STILL manage to get HIV, HPV, etc. I read an article about a 22-year old gay man that was HIV positive as the result of unprotected, consensual sex. I just had to ask myself “Really?” How does that happen? How, in this day and age are we STILL this sadly misinformed about HIV and other STDs? Is it willful ignorance? Arrogance? Belief in one’s own immortality? Complete and utter lack of self-esteem?

Maybe that’s it. A lack of someone to tell us “You are valued. You are good. You are loved. And don't let someone fuck you without a condom.” Is that all it will take?

Maybe we do need a little more pride. But a parade ain’t gonna cut it.

Merry Lesmas to All!

2005-06-23T00:36:00.000-07:00

Much as HM QE2 delivers a message on Christmas, I'm delivering a message on Lesmas.
Today, on this 23rd day of June, in this, the year of our lord Twenty Ot Five, I'm turning Thirty Two, or Twenty Twelve - depending on how recently I've seen a grey hair or crowsfeet.

Now, self-aggrandizing shite aside, I'm becoming progressively more okay with my thirties. When I reflect on my twenties, it is with a mixture of happy reminiscence, and wincing disdain. But never regret. I have no regrets. For anything I did, or anything I didn't do. There are things, at the time, that I wish had turned out differently, but now in distant retrospect, I have no regrets. Regret seems to be something of a waste of time. Why should I spend valuable time and energy reconsidering past decisions when there is so much of now to sort out? Occasionally apologetic? Sure. Sometimes misty eyed about people lost along the path? Certainly

Absolutely No Regrets. To quote Madonna.

For the first time in a while, I feel like that life is starting to fall into line. Since arriving in the Pacific Northwest, I've been given myriad opportunities to learn something new, to re-evaluate my priorities, and reconsider everything about my life. There's amazing clarity that comes with the silence of the trees in the Olympic National Forest.

Maybe that's what the thirties are about - using the lessons we learned in our twenties and applying those practical bits to our thirties.

Applied Lesson #1 - Drinking contests are always a bad idea. 'Nuf said.
Applied Lesson #2 - It's advisable to know someone's last name before sleeping with them. It's just polite.
Applied Lesson #3 - Take care of your teeth, or they will make you angry.
Applied Lesson #4 - Take care of your body, or it will be angry with you.

I'm sure more lessons will come to me after I've slept a bit. I don't think I'll be making any Lesmas resolutions this year. I hate to sully the Holiday with broken promises.

I'll close with an Ingrid Bergman quote - "I have no regrets. I wouldn't have lived my life the way I did if I was going to worry about what people were going to say."

She's got a point there.

Detritus

2005-06-15T13:21:00.000-07:00

While it’s true that I prayed for either the end of the Festival, or the sweet release of death, I now sit wondering what to do next.

The festival ended smoothly with a large, but badly located party at The Neptune on Sunday night. Although we were assured that it was a “Staff Only” function, still those pestilent passholders managed to wriggle themselves into our enclave. Bastards! They come, and drink our liquor, and annoy us further with their presence after three and a half weeks of us pretending to care that they exist.

But now, I don’t care. They’re all back in their homes, neatly preparing themselves for next year. And we sort through the detritus of the Festival.

We were asked to complete a “Wrap Report” – a post-mortem, of sorts to outline our experience with the Festival. It wasn’t a quantitative analysis of everything that happened, but more of an opinion survey, which frankly, surprised me. It’s nice to know that they were interested in our opinion, but most surprising was how difficult it was to complete.

For those who know me, you are aware that I have some minor “obsessive-compulsive” issues that can be construed as perfectionism. And they’re all true. My canned goods must be sorted by contents, with labels facing forward. My spice rack is separated by colour and function. And this report was another example of something that absolutely had to be organized well.

Or did it?

In the final analysis, it wouldn’t matter. Our opinions, while respected by the Festival, would all be recorded in due time. My anal-retentive selection of the most appropriate adjective would have little bearing on how much attention was paid on my individual report.

This begs an important question for me, and for my art: What’s most important, what you say? Or how you say it?

Denouement

2005-06-10T02:07:00.000-07:00

So, as we hurtle toward the final days of the film festival, much as a flaming meteor hurtles toward a small, green unsuspecting planet, nerves are shot - patience has eroded - pleasantries have been sternly replaced with a mere lift of the chin in tacit acknowledgement of one another.

It's been like boot camp, without the delicious homoerotic undertone. Well... maybe not completely bereft of homoerotic undertone, but at the moment I can offer no additional details on that matter.

As the "last days" approach, thoughts of minutiae are fading fast. No one cares. We've been on the frontlines defending arbitrary policy after arbitrary policy, annoying anyone who feels an extra sense of entitlement to which they are not actually due. Pissing off pass holders, who feel more entitled than anyone, that their individual seats are not permanently bronzed to mould to their ass shape. They're done with us, because we won't honor their request to be allowed to sit in ADA regulated seats, or because we refuse to recognize their sad little homemade signs that they've crafted on their PCs that they believe will hold their seats - we're exhausted with them, because we've seen them too often, heard their complaints about the state of modern/foreign/archival film, the heat/cold of the theatre, loudness/quiet of the audio, too many/not enough Argentine/Scottish/Ghanaian/Timori films...blah blah blah.

We don't care. We aren't paid enough to care. We're glad you come and enjoy the film, but don't lay out your tedium on us. Get a life, and move on.

By the way, Lesley Ann Warren is an alright chick. Met her today with a few of her fellow castmates and director - very nice people. It's nice to meet people who actually have a reason to demand a little extra attention who are just decent. It's a rare thing, and Lesley, thank you a lot - for making my potentially tedious evening, into a genuinely nice one. You rock.

By the way, armchair Siskels - you have only three days to pack in the remaining films. Remember, there is no late seating of any variety. And if you weren't been raised by Philistine Mongrels, it won't be an issue for you. For the rest of you, go watch your little Vin Diesel bullshit flick and spare me your sobby story about driving in from the 425 and how awful it was to drag your SUV across the 520.

Uninterested in your drama,
-Moi

The More Things Change

2005-05-30T22:10:00.000-07:00

Warning: The rant commences in three...two...one...

For the past couple weeks, I’ve been working at the Seattle International Film Festival, doing some grunt work for pittance pay. Now, I’m not seeking sympathy for it – the fact is, the job is actually rather entertaining. Part of my gig is managing the theatres where the films are being viewed, and another part of the job is making sure that the unpaid, volunteer ushers are doing their jobs.

Another disclaimer – if you’re volunteering to do something, you are to be commended. You are giving up the single most valuable asset for a cause of your choosing – your time. Since you are there, unpaid, then please understand, you are valued and loved and appreciated.

But there’s another side that you need to understand – those of us getting paid, are the ones who are responsible for things when they break, fuck up or catch on fire. And in times of crisis, we aren’t interested in any sentence that begins with any of the following words:

“In years past, we…”
“When ______ managed here, s/he would…”
“You know what you should do?...”
“I think…”

Ding! That’s it. That’s all I ask. That you simply put in your few hours, make my life easier, and most importantly, not to regale me with stories of anything that you perceive to be the “Good Old Days.” Because, you know why things change? Because they needed to. It’s altogether possible that certain things have changed, because of reasons that you, in your volunteerin’ world don’t know. And likely, for reasons that we, in our paid-staff world don’t know either. The truth is, things change. Deal with it. That’s life.

Here endeth the rant.

So, now in a less rantful tone, my first blog entry about the Film Festival itself – Seattle’s International Film Festival does an exceptional job of selecting its films. It’s the longest film fest in the US, so there’s a lot of time to fill, and since it’s less driven by the industry, and more by the audience that comes, there are options for every cinephile’s taste. Film from around the world, representing more than 50 countries, including documentaries, animation, romance, drama, etc. It’s brilliantly done. Best Film Festival ever.

In a strange way, the film festival is like a microcosm of Seattle itself. Every taste is served, welcomed and revered. And, like Seattle, it attracts every kind of person to attend its offerings, which, intellectually one might perceive to be of great utopia of culture – a veritable buffet of civilization, intellectual enlightenment and decency.

But, no.

Instead, the Festival, much like Seattle, attracts armchair intellectuals and dilettante critics who feel that their opinion is THE leading authority on a given topic. Not just in its viewers, but in its volunteers as well. (See previous rant) Because there’s no instinct in this town to declare “Bullshit!” on someone who oozes it from every pore, much as in my previous town of residence (Chicago, for those of you following the score), we are forced to listen to the posturing and proselytizing of those who know little or nothing, but are DYING to share their brilliant observations and criticisms with you. The punchline to it all is that they are quick to share their observations and criticisms about you, with you. In my previous life, my response would have been to tell them to shut the fuck up and/or fuck off.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But you aren’t entitled to foist it onto everyone around you. That goes for all of you, Seattle. Don’t make me tell you again.

Thanks for listening.

Shitty Job - from 1996

2005-05-18T22:11:00.000-07:00

Greetings all - this is a piece I wrote back in 1996, but I re-discovered it recently. It still amuses me. Enjoy!
-----------------------

- How to Quit A Shitty Job -

September 13, 1996
Today I quit working at Sprint. Actually, I didn't actually quit - I stopped going. I wanted to get fired…BOY! Did I want to get fired, but they take the "Let's make it suck so much for you that you'll quit" philosophy. And it works.

I must say that as far as quitting a job is concerned, the easiest way to do it is to simply stop going. Especially for a crap job like Sprint. You're completely portable and disposable. You have no real responsibility. No one accounts for your absence or presence. No one would even know that you're there except that a computer marks you in once you log yourself into the network.

userid: wlsterling514
password: suckassjobthatseatingmysoulasigrowolderandmoreangry

DING! You're connected, and now officially on the clock. And the only one who knows that you're there is a machine in the back counting your average timing per call.

So, I did actually go in to the job on that last scheduled day. About an hour early. I parked my car, walked to the door, put my magnetic ID card up to the square, and the door signal clicked green. As I opened the door, a waft of recirculated office air came at me. The smell of coffee, Xerox toner and disappointment filled the air. I hiked over to my locker and opened it. I could feel a grin welling up inside of me. I collected my headset, assorted magazines and memos and headed into the room where we all worked. I collected the memos about break times and approved coffee consumption locales and bits of mail from my mailbin and walked up to the control desk. I put my headset, locker key and stack of memos on the desk and told the supervisor whose name hadn't been important enough to learn, that yesterday was my last day, and without warning I began to smile. I felt bad smiling, but it felt so good I couldn't stand it. He took my things and thanked me. I had to suppress this seizing little giggle that hung in my throat like a firecracker waiting to escape and pop with its joyful little noise. I walked past my locker and realized that it was still open. I checked it again to see what was inside, if anything. I rescued the granola bar that had wedged itself in the corner, and dropped it in my backpack. I waved goodbye to a few friends, and I was on my way. They looked at me with their vacant eyes with a bit of sadness and relief. I felt like I was being released by the Viet Cong and I was leaving them in their bamboo jail cells. I dropped my security badge with the guard, signed out and left. In the 24 steps to my car I began to laugh hysterically. I had won. I regained control over my life and I had beat the machine that threatened to take me down. Once again I was at the helm of my destiny and I would steer it toward something interesting, come hell or high water.

Of course in order to fuel this metaphorical ship, I would need cash.
And fast. I had $30 on me, and $50 in the bank.

Damn. I need a job.

So, I got one. Working as a waiter…again. Where I worked for another six months until I got annoyed and stopped going to it.

The last couple weeks of the following March, I was still waiting tables at this wretched super-corporate restaurant and was starting to lose my grip on reality. So, Saturday night (being the biggest night of a restaurant's week) came, and I was supposed to work lunch, which is typically not a moneymaker, but at this restaurant it was. As it neared 4 pm, I was gearing up to go home, and drown myself in a bottle of anything…when the MOD (manager on duty) came to me and offered me $50 if I would work that night. Obviously, I decided to take the offer, as it was an additional $50! Heck yeah!

So, I worked that night. It was the most difficult and toxic evening of my career as a food service professional. I was exhausted, overwhelmed and near tears. Saturday night can easily yield $100 or more in income. I made $50, in addition to the $50 bribe from the manager, and I was done. On a Saturday night. What the fuck?

So Saturday night, I decided to go out and drink, even after working for a 13 hour shift. And drink, I did. Inebriated. And worn out. In my anger about work that day, I had forgotten that I was scheduled to work Sunday brunch.

I woke at 10:00am. I was due in the restaurant at 10:30. My friend Phil called to see if I was available for lunch. He arrived at my apartment at 10:15.

At 10:45, the restaurant called to ask where I was. I didn't answer the phone.

At 11:00 am, Phil and I decided to go to St. Louis to hang out with some friends.

And I never went back to the restaurant.

So I had to get another job. I didn't ever skip out on another job. I must have gotten more selective with my job choices.

13 May 2005 - Friday the Thirteenth

2005-05-14T01:42:00.000-07:00

As you will quickly discover about my writing, the titles of my entries, often have little to do with the content. Unless it is truly urgent for the story, my titles are often an assembly of words that happen to be rolling around my head. This entry was nearly named "Chicken Pot Pie" until I remembered that it was Friday the 13th.
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Segue: Have you seen http://www.FuckTheSouth.com ? I highly recommend it. BUT! Fair warning: It is not for the faint of language. If you find yourself overcome with twitchiness and shed a single, slow tear whenever you hear an expletive, I would advise you to not go to the site. Further, I would advise you to get a big roll of duct tape, and wrap your head in it until you stop breathing. As a secondary option, you can suck it up and deal with it. Your choice.

Sabre rattling aside, if you are of an intellect that exceeds the average, then you will appreciate the humor and intelligence involved in this site. Essentially, it is the diatribe that those of us who live on the political left all wish we could have said. A brilliant poet friend of mine recently made an observation about the political state of affairs in the country. She said, "We aren't hungry enough yet to truly have a revolution." I was saddened by the cynicism that her statement alluded to. Is that really true? Do people have to be starving to create revolution? It took American colonists near starvation, and taxation beyond their means to incite revolution. Remember the French Revolution? If you took a history class in the US, you might not. Bottom line to revolution? When the gap between the rich and poor widens, to the point of absurdity on either side, then revolution has to happen. Nature abhors a vacuum after all. But, as an ostensibly "civilised society" shouldn't we be evolved enough to see when such a situation is imminent? Shouldn't we be able to "head it off at the pass"?

Well, that's where it gets cloudy. Marie Antoinette didn't realize the need for revolution until it was too late. The same will go for John Ashcroft, Dick Cheney and grinning idiot-child George W. We'll have to storm the White House, and drag them off to the guillotine, and let the streets of D.C. run blue with their WASP blood before people will pay attention. Is that really what it has come down to? We're certainly capable. Remember Abu Gharib?
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When you get a moment, look up "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised" by Gil Scott Heron, and early 70's revolutionary that made people pay attention. Listen to this song/performance piece and tell me that you aren't tired of the ambivalent nature of intelligent Americans.

If after you hear it, you aren’t ready to hit the streets with a torch and a pitchfork, then go get that duct tape.

Mustard Death

2005-05-13T11:36:00.000-07:00

How, I ask you, does mustard go bad?
Where are all the preservatives when you so desparately need them.

And now, my pastrami must suffer.

Dammit!

11 May 2005 - Das Butt

2005-05-12T02:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers (yes, that means both of you!) -

Okay, so I know it's actually the 12th, but since I haven't slept yet, i'm still on Wednesday time. Strange as it seems, since I've left the crushing hands of the 9-5 world, I feel like a fugitive. As if Tommy Lee Jones will come after me any minute with a gun and a burlap sack, and drag me back to Chicago and lock me back in my cubicle. That a knock at my door will come, and Chris Meloni (ala Law & Order SVU) will drag me out kicking an screaming into the night. Of course, if it were Chris Meloni, ala Oz, that would be perfectly acceptable.

Tonight, I've been listening to Gipsy Kings and Amr Diab for the last couple hours. I enjoy non-English speaking music. It's just a little rhythmic noise in the background as I work. Like opera - all the emotional stuff, without the encumbrance of words.

For the time being, I will enjoy my refugee-employee status. I will pursue work outside of the seeming mainstream. Part of my anguish is the whole, "Is this what being a working artist is about? Is this thing that i've been doing part-time for a decade actually going to come to pass?"

Apprehension about our jobs is prevalent all around in my circle for some reason. Maybe because we've worked so many crap jobs, that now, the idea of a job that we enjoy seems, somehow, an absurdity.

What if we grow to hate this job too? The very job we were supposed to love? Isn't that what triggers midlift crises? I'm just pulling up on 32 - I'm not ready to do that in a convertible Corvette with hairplugs, and shiny secretary that I found at the office.

That's all I have for now. Part of my new working life plan involves daily entries on here, even if there's little to nothing to report.

The highlight of my day today was actually the chicken salad sandwich from Espresso Deli. Tomorrow, it might be a taco from Guyamas. You never know in my madcap world.

-Les

Welcome.

2005-04-17T01:20:00.000-07:00

This is the v. 2.0 of my written section. I'm enjoying this Blogger thing... very nice software.